I'll take a bottle of holiday Lipitor and a Chub Club Membership, please.

Ho ho ho. Here we are, November 30th. Only four shopping weekends left before Christmas. Personally, I hate Christmas shopping. I find that walking between racks of clothing in a crowded department store is a feeling very similar to what cattle might experience as they walk the maze just before getting zapped right between the eyes. What is it about the crazed lunatics who get up at 4:00 a.m. to save $10 at Kohl's on the latest MP3 Player??? Personally, I'd happily pay $10 extra for something just for the guarantee that I could have a stress-free and painless shopping experience. I always vow that I will work on my holiday shopping throughout the year, but of course this never happens. I hate feeling pressured to get gifts for people just for the sake of giving them something. I like to really shop to find the thoughtful gift, or the practical gift when I'm shopping for friends and family, so of course this takes me all of eternity. Over Thanksgiving my Grandma asked my sister what she would like for Christmas, and my sister just told her to make some sort of a donation. I thought this was a pretty cool idea, although very selfishly I guess I'd be a little ticked off if all I got was a stockingful of cards which read, "In lieu of a Christmas gift this year, we have made a substantial charitable donation in your name to The Human Fund: Money for People..." (I've always wanted to use that line from Seinfeld.) This morning I was listening to NPR and they were talking about how "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" is going all the way to the high courts for some big debate. Give me a flippin break, for Chrissakes! Usually I try to avoid making political statements, but with everything else the world has to contend with of a way more serious nature, is this something we really need to be arguing about? Personally, I prefer the more universal and general "Happy Holidays" for an obvious variety of reasons. All I can say, though, is that the more commercial the holidays get, the grinchier I become. This year I even told my husband that I was thinking about not putting up a tree this year. I'm sure I'll give in to my own threat this weekend, though. Sigh. The other unfortunate thing I have a love-hate relationship with during the holidays is the prolific assortment of all things chocolate and sugar-coated. I have a tiny bit of insight into what drug addicts experience, because for me pies and cookies are the ultimate addiction. Get your hands off my pumpkin pie!! Oh, how I do love a good pumpkin pie. My mother-in-law made a killer pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving complete with lard-laden flaky crust. Why does fat have to taste so good??! And why the hell do grocery stores still sell lard??!!

So, I'm thinking about applying for the Coordinator position at work which was recently vacated after the woman formerly in the position moved laterally to another position within our department. I wasn't going to do it at first, given that I'm still so new to the area and don't quite have a grasp of all our community resources. But, all of my colleagues have more or less come to ask me if I was going to apply for it and have been encouraging me to go for it. It would mean I'd then become supervisor to about four staff members I have sort of befriended, which would be a little weird, one of whom has been there about 16 years. But, since we're all adults I figure I won't need to actually "coordinate" much of anything but will have some added responsibility I really could use. Today I finished my work "too quickly" and ended up twiddling my thumbs like a damn monkey most of the day. I need to learn how to pace myself, apparently. Some days can get somewhat busy, but lately... man! I'm thinking about installing the George Castanza sleeping shelf complete with clock radio underneath my desk. The heat vent in our office seems to be situated directly above my cubicle, so I'm certain I won't have trouble falling asleep. I'm going to talk with our director tomorrow about the position to see about the likelihood of my transitioning. We'll see what happens!